Flying Crazy Mike's is just the beginning; Beijing still lags when it comes to service

By Hugh Jorgen

I just returned from a short trip to Guangzhou and Shenzhen. The trip down there was routine a flight out of the Capital Airport. The return home, however, was not nearly so straight forward. For starters, my friend and I would be landing at Beijing's south airport. Nan Yuan is located just south of 4th ring road, in some farmer's field I believe. Secondly, we didn't actually know what airline we were taking back since the tickets were booked for us by a friend and the name of the company was not printed on the tickets. All we had to go by was a flight number.

Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the booze and fatigue, but as we waited in line to check in at the Guangzhou airport, we started to muse and about this mysterious airline. We dubbed it "Crazy Mike's Discount Air" and we were soon imagining all kinds of ridiculous scenarios.

Pete the Pilot: (prior to take off, walking through the cabin, wearing a pilot's cap and a T-shirt) Hey does anybody here know how to hot wire a car... or, you know... a plane?

Passenger: (during flight knocking on cockpit door) Ah excuse me, but I noticed out the left window that the landing gear just fell off.

Pete the Pilot: (visibly disinterested) Yeah... look I'm kinda busy right now. Unless it's something reeeally urgent, I would prefer you stay back behind this yellow line (pointing to the floor) and try not to distract me. I've got enough to deal with right now. This gauge isn't working, the steering wheel keeps sticking and I can't find my parachute. But hey, since you're here, take a look out the window... do those street lights down there look like Beijing?

As it turned out, the flight was fairly pleasant, despite my overwhelming fatigue. The plane was old - it still had cigarette trays in the arm rests, but it was well maintained. The crew was friendly, professional and well-dressed, though I decided to avoid the bun that was waved at me as the in-flight meal.

The real surprise - and it was a nasty one - came shortly after landing. Allow me to sketch a quick image of Nan Yuan: four planes (including ours), one very small terminal, one bathroom, one luggage carousel. Walking from entrance to exit takes about 13 seconds. As we disembarked the plane just after midnight, we walked across the tarmac in the rain, (no bus) and into a terminal that looked more like a garage (I could have sworn I heard something moo along the way). We hoped there would be taxis waiting outside the opposite door. There were, but our relief was premature. Although there were two dozen drivers waiting dutifully next to their cars, something was not right. After getting into a cab, we were informed by the driver that his meter was not working. We promptly got out, but soon realized none of the meters in any of the cars were working (re: turned off). We had walked straight into an illegal taxi nightmare. Within moments, a dozen drivers had surrounded us yelling that they would take us into town for a mere 120 kuai. We felt like two sheep that took a wrong turn and walked into a wolf convention. Then we noticed a bus waiting nearby that was taking travelers to Xidan - for free. We fought our way through the gauntlet of ravenous cabbies who did everything they could to prevent us from getting on the bus. Once the bus got rolling, I peered out the window and for several blocks continued to see illegal cabs swarming around the streets of this district.

As a resident of Beijing for almost four years now, this is just another day in the capital as far as I'm concerned. But the incident got me thinking about what kinds of experiences are in store for the legions of foreign travelers that will visit Beijing over the next several months. The government has been thumping its chest over the brand new Terminal 3 at Beijing's Capital Airport. I was there and it is impressive and world class - at least the building is. The service, from my experience, is another story. For frequent travelers who are used to airport employees speaking English and smiling occasionally, it might be a bit of a letdown. Shiny new buildings are one thing, but if the weary traveler gets poor service, I can guarantee that is all they are going to remember from their airport experience.

Of course, the vast majority of first-time travelers to Beijing will be entering the city through the Capital airport and not the one we had the misfortune of landing at the other night. I've had plenty of experiences with illegal cabs in Beijing. What's surprising is that they are still so prevalent on the streets of the capital four months away from the big dance. The summer Olympics in Beijing is all about image for China and if the authorities don't feel compelled to clean up street level scams like this soon, plenty of foreign travelers are going to be taken for a ride - and there will be lots more stories like this one.

Probably worse than anything that could happen aboard Crazy Mike's.

Hugh Jorgen works in Chinese state-run media. Zhongnanhai welcomes submissions at cam@zhongnanhaiblog.com.