The internal drive to relate the facts

BEIJING - I feel as though I'm in journalistic limbo right now.

I received a phone call this morning from a good friend of mine who had just arrived at the airport in Chengdu. He works for a Russian news service as the chief correspondent here in China. As such, he has been tasked to make it to the epicenter of this week's earthquake in Wenchuan County. He relayed for me his trip there from Beijing, saying that it was an extremely sad flight, as many of the people who were on it were family members of the victims who were on their way to collect their dead relatives. He also described for me the hardships he personally faced in getting to the hardest-hit area, given that he would most likely have to rent a bike to make it to the region because 4-wheel transport remains a virtual impossibility. And despite all that he had told me about the trouble that lay ahead for him and the hardship that he had already encountered, a large part of me wanted to say 'congratulations.'

It may seem morbid, but it's these kinds of situations that tend to bring out the best in journalists. I don't know if there's any sort of scientific reasoning behind it, but as a journalist, you're trained to gravitate toward the heart of the action. Perhaps it's because we're trained to relay information that no one else has. Perhaps another part of it is also a bit of self-gratification, given that being in these kinds of situations, you're work comes under intense focus, forcing journalists to strive above and beyond their day-in and day-out routine work. And yet another part of it might be somewhat self-serving, as after the ordeal is over and the work is done, you can say to yourself and others "I was there. I was on the front lines." Whatever it is that compels us as journalists, we all want to be involved in the story. Hence why I say I feel in limbo.

Given my present circumstances, I'm locked here in Beijing and have no opportunity to make it out to the disaster zone. Sure, I'm on the radio everyday, and have been tasked to talk about the broader-based issues surrounding the earthquake, such as logistics, civic policies, emergency management and international aide and support. I've also been doing semi-frequent updates on the overall situation on radio back in my native Canada. But a big part of me just feels that it's not enough. Again, not to sound morbid, but big-news situations like this don't come along everyday. And being a journalist within potential proximity to the story, one can't help but want to be there in the thick of things.

The last thing my friend said to me really sort of brings home the situation. He said, "I just wanted to give you a call and say that if I don't make it back, thank you [for your friendship]." Even though part of him realizes that he's potentially putting his life at risk by entering into the mass devastation, the drive to tell the story for journalists more often supercedes conventional practicality. So best of luck my friend. And the same to those doing their part for the victims of this horrific tragedy.