Recently in Humor Category
Well, the Olympic torch has now made its triumphant arrival in the Australian capital of Canberra ahead of tomorrow's Auzzie leg. So it got me thinking about what the 'patriotic' Chinese out there are going to protest against here in China if s*#t hits the fan in Australia. Where to focus that anger... hmmm... Well, let's take a look at some of the options available for our enthusiastic patriots:
Well, let's look at it from the business angle first. China is really keen on importing a lot of Australian uranium. 
So, I guess the protesters could rally around missile silos or nuclear power plants. Or maybe... here's a thought... they can boycott nuclear generated electricity! Oh, but wait... no one really knows whether their power comes from a coal-fired power plant or a nuclear one. So I guess, unless they want to do a candle-light protest (which would sort of take away from the drama of it all, and make it more like a love-in) the whole idea of protesting uranium is kind of out. DOUGH! Oh well... moving on...
Alright, where to next? Well, let's examine what kind of products Australia is famous for on a consumer level. Hmmm... Well, I guess there's Foster's Beer. That's Australian. But come to think of it... I don't think I've ever actually seen a can or bottle of it here in China. Ok then... how about Vegemite, the beloved yeast-based spread that many an Auzzie has grown up on! That'd get'em... except for one small problem... I'm sure the Chinese are much like the rest of the world when it comes to the fact that they'd rather spread the stuff that hit the fan on their crackers rather than Vegemite. So I don't think an anti-Vegemite campaign is going to break Australia's back.
OK... got it... how about Australian film stars! Ya! That'd work... I mean nothing would slap Australia back in the face harder than boycotting the latest Mel Gibson movie! Tsss... oh... forgot. He's only doing religious movies these days it seems... and those don't make it onto the screens here in China. Oh well. Oh...Oh...Oh... got it! 
Australian actress Nicole Kidman! Ummm... except she hasn't done a heck of a lot recently. So maybe her New Zealand-born country music-singing husband Keith Urban. I mean, Australia... New Zealand, pretty much the same thing, right??? But come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen a country music CD here in China. They must be buried behind the Best of Yanni albums that are littering the racks here in the Middle Kingdom.
Ok, ok...we're kind of running out of options here me thinks. Wait...hang on... think I've got something here... ummm.... YES! Here's the nail in the coffin and the ultimate revenge here in China should these nasty ol' protesters mess with China's flame: A boycott on kangaroo and koala-based flare hanging off cell phones!!! Ureeka!!! The straw that breaks the camel's back!!
All kidding around aside, I actually do hope the Australian leg of the Torch relay does go off smoothly. I mean... I think we all need a break for a little while before the damn thing hits Japan, don't we!
