Hugh J. puts together a handy list for visitors to Beijing:  Remember: It’s not smog - it’s ‘haze’. Despite the fact you may feel as though ten shot put competitors are standing on your chest at the same time, in Beijing, simply renaming something actually makes it so. In the case of smog, simply re-designating it ‘haze’ is said to actually change the chemical composition of the air. Don’t ask me how this works.

Yes, this is in Beijing.

Who'd have thought that it would take this long to get a decent hot dog in Beijing?  China's glitzy capital now has every cuisine imaginable, including Ethiopian and Afghan.  Nearly every major foreign chain has set up shop here and nearly every western amenity can be found.  Except the hot dog.  Until now.

That first night, as some burly Africans wandered the hallway in my hotel near Huanshi Dong Lu phoning "massage girls", I was thinking, what am I doing here?  The big cement overpasses outside weren't exactly pretty to look at, either.

BEIJING - A man cycles by one of the many buildings being cleared near the capital's Long Distance Bus Station.

Eleven million passenger journeys are registered on pubic transport everyday, and with the upcoming Guangzhou-Shenzhen-Hong Kong Express Rail Link and  Hong Kong-Zhuhai-Macao Bridge it seems Hong Kong will be more connected than ever. Perhaps with the upcoming Olympics Hong Kong's public transportation system will receive a thorough testing for the pure volume of human traffic it can handle.  

Back in 2006, during the trial run, one cabin collided with the station, and the whole contraption was suspended leaving a number of people trapped in their cabins for hours. Official opening date was pushed back, and once the service got off the ground, there was the rather worrying incident in June of last year in which one car fell to the ground, (which the government referred to as the “dislodgement incident”).

That's when I got a knock on the door. It was my producer. He said the PR manager booked my room under her name, and when she tried to leave downstairs the front desk asked where she was going. It turns out my failure to bring a passport wasn't the problem at all, it was this: this particular hotel had not received approval from the local Public Security Bureau to allow foreigners to stay.

Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the booze and fatigue, but as we waited in line to check in at the Guangzhou airport, we started to muse and about this mysterious airline. We dubbed it "Crazy Mike's Discount Air" and we were soon imagining all kinds of ridiculous scenarios.

Like on a subway system, we pressed "Shenzhen" on an automated machine, popped in our cash, and out came the tickets. They are coded electronically, so we swiped them at the turnstiles and walked down a hallway and onto the train. It left one minute early, and arrived one minute early. We didn't talk to a ticket seller (although they are available if need be) and spent precisely zero minutes waiting for anything. It was a pleasure.

Now imagine that you are a the epitome of the perfect Mother -- all that you want is to desperately find your daughter the perfect husband. After a quick Google search it appears as though your prayers have been answered, or have they? Read on...